she calls it her "sourpuss" because everyone makes that face when they see it.
umm..so Dad's wearing a thong, I don't know what to do
put a dollar in it?
The bridesmaids just went smackdown on the floor, over the bouquet. I saw nipple. Best wedding ever
You've picked up chicks by quoting metal bands
When they're drunk they believe it's Shakespeare...enjoy the simple things
I think i can make this amish girl legitimately hot.
The girls we hooked up with were hammered, pushing each other in a shopping cart into the sushi place and through the restaurant... One's a volunteer EMT. God help her patients.
That's how I like my men: traumatized and crying in a ball
why do all the dudes in this porno look like billy ray cyrus
Would you still love me if my nipple fell off?
Lesson learned. No more vodka and toaster strudel
The nice lady at the neighborhood liquor store informs me that we have a new woman-run neighborhood sex shop. Jesus loves me and wants me to have a happy Valentine's day.
We figured you were on something when you said that your nipples couldn't hear the music.
Dude. I keep thinking about how I let a man gum my vagina.
You were lost on foot. Texted us and told us that N*Sync couldn't save you, and then you "met Jesus" in your car.
I threw a lamp at you?
Yes, yes you did.
Awesome
Randomize
