it's 4 am, i'm drinkin beer and re-drywalling my bathroom. this could possibly be a bad idea.
I'm not a pervert.. I just like to be naked...
I woke up naked in my own vomit. Not even in my bed. No one is happy.
every time you want to hook up with a guy who has a girl friend, i'll just give you a freshman
all of his pictures were taken on a library computer, how did you even consider fucking him?
new girl just came onto the hall stumbling drunk with no shoes on and the guy who brought her doesn't have them either
You wore a man's plastic top hat last night.
No I didn't. Whiskey did.
She wants to go as a facebook "like" for halloween, but right now her costume looks more like the hamburger helper hand with broken fingers.
I knew you were blacked out when you started refusing beer.
Look, I'm just saying, she looks like a troll and works indefinitely at a shitty Chinese restaurant, so me sleeping with her boyfriend is the least of her troubles...
i feel like spreading the word of drunken joy.
I mean I puked all over three separate towns last night and I still think you're the one who should reevaluate their life.
Lol yeah. Because I just woke him up to blow him for being hot.
I can no longer play with you. I puked on my feet in the shower. I'm too old for this.
He walked into me masturbating to a framed picture of Bill Murray riding a t-rex
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