So would u like to explain why you ate all my pickels and took my 1800?
About that, i have your 1800 on my desk with intentions of returning it but theres nothing i can do about the pickels
you dont want to live with me, im always naked, a chronic masturbator, a bit of a voyeur and will likely touch you while you sleep. ps- i can pick locks
just got my goo swallowed for the first time. colors seem so much more vivid now, and more rainbows are outside
i have rugburns grass stains and some road rash. im an all terrain slut
all i remember was you yelling "look at my little feet" at everyone on the way home from the bar.
I want a coyote to ride back and forth to the bathroom because walking is getting old
its like the body should be a temple but we treat it like a kmart
She roared AMY HORNEY and hulk hoganed her shirt off. Fuckin marriage time bro
By the time the opening band finished, she was already slurring, coming on to the gay couple next to us, and waving her panties in the air.
Go big or go home. Or get a live in house boy you met 7 years ago and feel like you have unfullfilled potential. You know, the usual
I refuse to answer that question on the grounds that it may incriminate me
I nicked my vulva while shaving and I'm about to go on a date where I will be having sex. Which bandaid: My Little Pony or princesses?
I fucked a marine... I told him it was like personal revenge and he said he could live with that and that he didn't mind being used.
girls shouldnt black out with american flag bandaids on their nips
I just puked into a clean basket of laundry.
Randomize
