how was the sex?
he smelled like pickles and burnt hair.
well, there's that.
How wet are you?
Ever heard of a U-boat?
We walked into the bar in The Flying V formation from The Mighty Ducks. We were ready.
they could make at least 3 episode of "i shouldn't be alive" out of my weekend
I hid 4 bags of cocaine in your house. Have fun finding them
this boner is exhausting
Im dancing with my grandma to Low right now at the wedding. There's no coming back from this.
every time fb tells me a dude i fucked is now friends with another dude ive fucked, i die a little inside. thats way more honesty than im comfortable with.
Just faked two orgasms bc I had too much wine and remembered mid sex that I bought doritos yesterday.
I just want a guy that likes cats and is willing to get a vasectomy. IS THAT SO MUCH TO ASK?!
You just kept screaming at everyone 'not to break your scarf' and doing somersaults
Do you ever just feel like you can feel hormones radiating from your uterus?
I found one of those wine glass confetti bits in my ass crack.
I cannot believe all 4 of us had sex at the same time, in the same bed... And it didn't turn into a foursome..
i know were having a "heart to heart" right now, but does it make you feel uncomfortable that im sexting someone right now?
Randomize
