So I'm eating my burger minding my own business, when the guy next to me starts up a conversation. Seemed normal at first, stocks, bonds, etc...then he said...and I quote "I can push a bowling-ball up a flight of stairs with my tongue." As I awkwardly laughed he broke out "I bet you I could bite the head off of a rabbit."
Also just realized how inappropriate it looks to other drivers to finish bottles of cheap champagne at stoplights
Biggest penis I've ever pity fucked
I totally cried the whole time and then screamed out my new therapists name....
Just did an upsidedown spineboard shot. Gotta love lifeguard parties.
He was so drunk he was throwing the bowling balls into other lanes on purpose. He still beat my high score thought.
I just pictured ballsacks being shoveled into the furnace of the Titanic.
When asked if they had been introduced, Damo said "No but I know we've pretty much fucked all the same girls in town"
pretty sure tht was the guy who once went to the club dressed as waldo. he still looks weirdly fuckable.
I just want to pat him on the head, bake him some cookies, and reassure him that, someday, he will get laid.
Landen experienced Greenville for the first time last night. He was awaken by 2 cops and 4 EMS guys this morning in the bed of that truck that is for sale at the swashbuckler carwash, said he was trying to walk to waffle house... Greenville- 1, Landen- 0
Spent the majority of my senior year drunk. Graduate of 2011, I think 2011. Probably.
Am I getting cock blocked by karaoke? That's a first.
what is considered shitting yourself?
Like my underwear wasn't soiled, but there was definitely a departure from my asshole.
i sent him a picture of his friend's dick and told him he should really stop thinking he's my only option.
Randomize
