:O -> O: ... that's emoticon for "he threw up in my mouth while we were making out"
I was high enough to understand and function with 'flip' while playing brick breaker
Damn. I don't think I could ever be that high.
bottle of wine in one hand cigar in the other. 5 am. topless on our fire escape. and she cleaned our bathroom... i like his new girlfriend.
I could be wrong, but im pretty sure i jumped off the roof after my lighter.
He wasn't there when I woke up so I left him a heart shaped line before I left.
DO NOT GO IN OUR BATHROOM. it cannot be unseen
thanks for the bloody nose. you probably dont remember, i'm not mad.. only because your boobs are to blame
He wore nothing but a Speedo and a tie to the party. It was great. Everyone was looking at him like "this kid's the best"
Oh Julie took your pants off last night, I put your pajama bottoms on, and Rachel took your bra off. It takes a village.
With a stable of 7 fuck buddies, I literally use a random number generator to determine the order in which I will booty call them on my way home from work. I have not slept in my own bed in a month. I just keep half my clothes hanging in my car or in a suitcase.
There is a midget in cheetah face paint on a leash here
He's attempting to seduce me with thanksgiving-themed sexual metaphors... It's working.
I thought my holiday spirit was gone this year until I got banged to Christmas music. It's back.
We got really excited for country fried steak then we had sex.
Probably should start having regular sex again too to lose this breakup weight. Good cardio.
Randomize