glad my latex allergy prevents me from being a one-night stand whore
I am the drunkest girl in the tree.
Slept on the counter again. Mom covered me in an apron.
The puppy is a lightweight. 3 beers and he's passed out on the floor already. I repeat, the puppy is a lightweight.
We defiantly won best dressed in the ER tonight
mallory made a planned parenthood decision maker flow chart again.
Apparently I took one a huge picture off the wall at the bar and was walking around dancing with it..
you passed out while setting up your phones timer to time how long it would take before you to passed out.
I can't straight up say the only reason I smoked a couple bowls with you was for your three legged cat
By the way, just opened the browser on my phone for the first time today... And it was it the "images" section of "who invented ass fucking"
So thanks for that
Drunk wound on my leg hast healed and neither has my dignity
I literally heard an 'oh my god' when the shirtless Tongan appeared.
There is a french fry attached to my steering wheel and a note that says "eat me yum yum" can you explain this?
Literally.... Guy kissing himself in mirror in this hotel elevator
I lost my cyber virginity to a guy I barely knew in high school while a Togepi Plushie watched.
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