Just saw 2 very young girls abandon baby buggys in the Xwalk to fight. Gotta love Holyoke.
Last night was proof dads should hug their daughters more
you started texting yourself and saying they were "divine messages from heaven" then you threw up on stacie's piano.
Ah shit... I sleep-ate chocolate pudding again.
Not even desperate vagina wants small cock.
Glad to hear you raised your standards
And then the lady sheeps would bring me the finest grass to eat cuz im the sheep king and id have sexy smooth sheep fur
how many thumbs am i supposed to have at one time
you found the shrooms didnt you
Well I'm drunk and covered in baby oil so tonights not ideal
She legitimately thought I was hiding in the fridge, then she checked the second one to be sure
He showed me a picture of his baby hamsters and I called them "Mammal McNuggets"
Random question: Have you ever woken up and were suprised to not have a penis?
It's 5AM and I just stirred weed butter into ramen noodles. This is not where I expected to be at 30. ...But, hey, getting high off noodles.
True fear is being unable to remember where you hid your weed and vibrator in your parent's house.
Today's hangover is brought to us by Sailor Jerry's and your dedication to my alcoholism.
I can see. My condolences to your vagina.
Randomize
