am i morally bankrupt?
no. its just the recession
UPDATE: In a passionate fit of self love, I brought myself to orgasm under the moon on my 7th floor balcony, ejaculating between the rungs towards the ground.
Unfortunately, I did not realize that most of it would end up on the balcony below mine.
At least you don't cum in color.
When we made out her lip\nose ring fell out in my mouth. Awkward?
just scratched off #34 on my list of things to do before age 30 - drunk in a helicopter.
some crying dude holding an empty fifth of burnetts just showed up at our door and asked 'do i live here?'
My drunken abilities have only improved since college....I can navigate the streets of chicago like no ones business, do push-ups to hail a taxi and instantly become an mma fighter after 3 shots of hennessy
I've smoked enough weed to put down a pony.
He spent $1100 at a strip club. If I had that kind of disposable income, I'd make a cocaine sandcastle.
All i've had today is coffee and ketchup packets. I need a job like yesterday.
I've shit my pants 4 times in 12 hours... Never trust a fart when u pass 30
Day 1 of the Fuck Your Ex weekend has been productive. Already boned Steph and we're both still glad we arnt together anymore.
I was like kind of drunk but mostly just very enthusiastic about beyonce
I boned my sugar daddy for the first time yesterday and now I know why they say guys in their 40s are the best. Also I’m getting a car.
I know you won't see this for awhile, but I had to tell somebody, and you're like the only person who won't judge me for having an accidental erotic encounter with General Tso's chicken.
Get ready for me I'm full of tequila and I want to be full of you next
Randomize
