God I can't wait to have my phone textbombed every night
Greg found me on xtube. Who knew random hook ups would leave their web cams on and upload it. At least it shows off big penis.
You wouldn't stop asking the hibachi cook if his knife was a hattori hanzo
I'm pretty sure he jizzed in his pants, and no it wasn't even half as funny as that song.
You were running around the house covered in syrup, with shredded down pillow feathers on your body screaming "AFLACK!" at everyone
i get tired of guys telling me there married or they have a girlfriend. they act like it concerns or matters to me
you kept say ridiculous things then repeating them in perfect classical latin. You are onee intelligent drunk
He specifically said I couldn't post the picture of him passed out naked except for a strategically placed washcloth. Where's the fun in that?
YOU'RE MARRIED. TO OTHER PEOPLE.
My one night stand said I love you, opened my fridge, stole my cream cheese and left.
thankfully we both ride of shamed home together on razor scooters in dresses because we stopped for breakfast sandwiches too
He ate a Doritos taco from my boobs. Does your boyfriend do that?
You're right, I'd say my real all time low was when I let that fifteen-year-old feel my boob.
At first it will make you think "how is this physically possible?" and then it will ruin an entire food group for you.
Its like people have to train for months before they try and drink with us and survive...
I think its a little fucked up she invited you to her wedding, are you going?
There is a lot of acid in my drugs right now
....ill put you down as a no then
Randomize
