I wanna come home
And do what?
Kiss. Rip clothes off. Repeat.
Like all of my pajamas are shirts of guys I shacked with in college
he was on top of me and all of a sudden stopped and starting picking his nose...i asked him if he was okay, he sort of looked confused, and he told me he had a booger that hurt. guess its a good thing i wasnt planning on dating this guy
you traded sex for a burrito?
well when i got there she was attempting to stick the cat in her mouth.. so maybe you should go check on her
For those pictures, I will suffer this headache.
Who would have thought google would have HELPED me fail a test...not pass...thank you pacman, thank you google....
I thought I would take a shower to wake me up but now I'm naked wet and stoned laying on my bed instead of just stoned laying on my bed
they would be such cute babies and they would grow up to have huge dicks. and that would make me proud as a mother
Climbing through a window thats four feet off the ground isnt the easiest thing when youre high, trust me.
Youre the drunk baby that everyone wants to take care of.
I just used crown royal bags as pot holders...
Getting drunk in an Applebee's pray for me
Lord god protect this child
Woke up this morning to a bunch of snapchats of you drunkenly yelling at grasshoppers. Good night?
If that pentatonix bullshit is playing when I get home we're breaking up
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