I think east. Tornado watch. What the fuck are you doing in Texarkana?
Bonnaroo. Tornado watch? Expand on that thought.
Watch for tornadoes.
We're too lazy too send a pic of out balls. Just assume this is a pic of our balls and respond accordingly.
He was having trouble staying hard then just stopped mid-sex and said "it's overheating" while pointing to his dick.
This might sound awkward, but can I borrow a dildo for class?
I'm amazed your boyfriend is still with you, how do you manage to pee on him while he is holding you in his lap?
It was like being fucked by the god of thunder, he gained power from the storm. I took a Plan B because I don't think regular birth control will stop Thor's sperm.
Why the fuck did I wake up in a chair with mouth clamps?!
Apparently getting dressed is an all-day activity.
yeah dropping that class because i really don't want to be known as the girl who fell asleep in class and threw up as she walked out for an entire semester
He sent me a picture of him trying to push his cock into a Gatorade bottle. I dont know if I'm impressed it didn't fit and disgusted that he sent me something so vile.
One of those days. Also, your pants are now in my protective custody.
You kept yelling "NO CAPES" at me for no apparent reason
PSA- Wearing assless chaps results in embarrassingly painful sunburn
How was jagerbomb pong?
It was like communism. Great in theory. Terrible when put into practice
I visited the library for the first time in my college career tonight and I got laid. I think I'm gonna come back...
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