So drunk i had to piss sitting down...
she told me her fantasy was her as a 55 year old cook at a truck stop who smokes a pack a day, and I was the 21 year old illegal immigarnt prep cook.
He kissed a someone with a penis
Any day that starts with a call from my ex-bf... crying... is a good day.
Im def. not watching the CMAs. If Kanyes not gonna be there whats the point?
chastity bono is officially a man...and has a really hot girlfriend...life doesn't make sense
I am like king midas for the gay community. everything I touch turns into a lesbian.
I just dumped out my gym water bottle and filled it with white wine. This is the end.
Bank of America: Available balance is $546.25 on 03/04/2011 for account 8428. Go online for details. TextSTOPtoStop/TextHELPforHelp
i loe djcudia fjxos rue.
mid blow job she looked up and said "we aren't even facebook friends!"
Haha, apparently they frown upon male strippers there. Bouncers couldn't catch me tho.
we got kicked out of her coke dealer's house when we wouldn't stop quoting "a league of their own"
communist
Just remembered I said your cat looked delicious last night.
I should become her mentor. Get her life back together for her
You mean sponsor?
What was the name of that sleazy asshole I'm not allowed to sleep with?
Randomize
