I am not hooking up with him just to see what his penis looks like.
susan atkins died, charles manson's lady
dont cry, there are other serial killers to crush on.
Thanks for stealing lime trees for me at 4:00 am. We're well on our way to having sustainable supplies for mojitos this summer.
I'm drinking bacardi out of her mom's eco-green starbucks mug and chasing it with her sister's "for track only" vitamin water. Hello suburbia
Why do I have flashes of a dark shed in my memory?
Because we had sex in one.
I think mounting someone proves who's house this is
You're a disgrace to the female race and the love triangle and halloween.
I'm like an air traffic controller of women. It's a very similar job. Well spaced and gentle landings are good. When they meet, it's bad. Explosions bad. Dying screaming burning children bad.
i would never take his side over yours. you coulda gotten knocked up from another dude and i'd be right there next to you blaming it on him saying some shit like "his sperm were just too sub par for you" or "shoulda had a bigger penis"
He showed up at my front door with Plan B and a rose...
Let's be honest dude, you almost cried when I gave you a handy, you are not ready for a relationship, I knew this.
He just texted me asking for his shirt back and I said I didn't have it and then I ran into him 5 minutes later while wearing the said shirt
She came into the salon and said, "Don't judge me. Yes that's cum in my hair and I want a shampoo, cut and style."
Your vagina is not a steamboat from the 1800's
She's writing hockey erotica again.
Tell her to pick another team besides ours this time.
Randomize
