you alive?
ya, the episode of maury where people are afraid of things are on, i had to keep livin
also, did you notice that when he quoted your email he used MLA format?
Those motion detector trash cans don't work fast enough to catch puke.
If I have to go to the hospital can we stop by the liquor store on the way?
I feel like hell. The amount of black beans I found in my hair tells me I hit rock bottom
So i think i'm going to frame my summons tickets and give them to dad as a christmas present...
Well, I'm getting my ex-boyfriend to get me a z pack to cure the chlamydia I got from my married fuck buddy so that I can fuck one of my students.
It was over as soon as he asked if he could name my vagina pancake.
I was wearing my get used bookstore shirt when we fucked. Ironic yet appropriate.
Have you ever looked death in the face and have the urge to shit yourself. I'm in that situation right now.
I didn't want him to hear me sneaking in. The doggie door was the perfect solution.
it's like the easy bake oven version of plastic surgery
Even in drag you're still better looking than your sister.
I am so horny. It's like all the stress of finals week has relocated to my vagina.
Just come here quick. I'm home in 3min. It will take you literally less than 5 to walk. Then 2 to undress, 16 to fuck, 2 to dress again and 5 to walk back..!!
exactly 16 eh??
Randomize
