I was on my way at Dorito Smoothie
Transgendered man at work dawning a slutty batman costume. I hate Halloween
Don't freak out about the couches in the driveway. We tried to unpack the uhaul drunk.
whiskey dick. though we did manage to break my closet door and flood the bathroom.
I think i lit a firework with a joint. happy birthday, america?
Just go to your happy place. Mine is with Jake Gyllenhaal & schnapps
you went to ralph's and bought all of their pears and left them outside my house
I told you that you should stop drinking and you responded "Thanks for telling me how to live, North Korea!"
Just let me suck your dick and be happy. Let me have this.
I'm 2 weeks in to my all dick and carb diet and so far I've lost 2lbs.
yeah but really his dick tasted like soap. like i was blowing a bar of soap
Once you find out someone has a small dick, you never look at them the same again.
may or may not have entered into a gay civil rights discussion with 6 year olds. Hint: I did.
Hi darlin, what are you doing tonight?
.... Things I will not be proud of
when the cops came she just started yelling at them "Fuck the police! freedom of speech bitches!"
Randomize
