Midget sex pt 2 tonight
she cant drink. allergic to alcohol.
ewwww. she might as well have a dick.
fuck your aforementioned shoe
i've never seen someone fall down the steps so gracefully... i think im in love
two words: eviction party
I wasn't interested in him...but then he played The Office theme song on acoustic guitar. I'm sorry.
i remember getting really pissed off when you wouldn't let me sleep in the garage with your cat.
Remember when you picked me up from my walk of shame with a bike, I came out wearing a Ninja Turtle costume and you let me ride the pegs to thoroughly display the embarassment
You had us pull over so you could pee, you proceeded to pee in some random persons front yard while yelling "im not ashamed"
He wrote on the paper that he wanted a "Ptitty burreto" from taco bell...when we ordered it the girl paused and entered "Potatoe burrieto"....we laughed
I resisted the urge to announce that it looks like a big crystal butt plug
I really wanted to pound but her roomate was making mac n cheese n shit so I was trying to time her moans to the drone of the microwave
Maybe because you rubbed my clit while we were making churros
my mom is drunk and is trying to get me to take a picture of her ass. what is life?
Must lick fork, like it's a DICK
Randomize
