Where are you???
With some dude on the way to his house to blaze
You went back to a stranger's house????
He isn't a stranger...he used to be on kids, inc.
I love LA.
Did you fuck her?
If by "fuck her" you mean "threw up on her shoes," then yes, I achieved that.
Now that world cup is done, funneling out of a vuvuzela has lost its fun
Seius question. Does a penis floar when ina baht? Must find out.
Maybe. This hangover is made of nightmares and that thing from the Alien movies.
Having a vagina does not stop me from believeing my balls are bigger than yours.
I fucked a guy that's in Sports illustrated. I'm officially ready for college.
You're putting the star player on the bench. You dont put Michael Jordan on the bench.
Are you referring to my vagina as Michael Jordan?
PLEASE DON'T BE HEARTLESS COME AND GET ME FROM THE BAR I'M HIGH AS SHIT AND I LOST MY SHOES
Your mother liked my album on facebook that's only filled with drunk pictures. I don't know what to feel about this
The dick lei will go down in squad history
So Saturday night after 10 drinks I guess he tried to have sex with me and in the middle of it I asked "can you tell I'm faking it!?" and then I sat up and threw up in my hand. That's a sex Win in my books
I am at the car wash dressed as a turn of the century librarian
Seeing my ex post concert Snapchat videos as an Instagram really reinforces that I made the right choice...
I'm thankful I didn't get drunk and shit my pants this year. 🦃
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