i hate this light. i wouldnt even hook up with me in this light
Bonnaroo quote of the day: "why the fuck am i pregnant?!?!" - exclaimed loudly by random hippie.
The only person who has seen my penis more than that girl, is that girl's sister.
I'm picking out a half way decent top so if I get arrested I'll have a respectable mug shot photo. Always be prepared.
So high. I just took a picture of my chewed gum so I can remember to paint a picture of it as a cloud later.
i was staring at it trying to desperately see a vagina
I spiked my fruit smoothie. Taking bikini season diet to a whole new level
So im guessing you dont remember the walk home, where you layed down in the alley and began to sing "threes company too" and when i told you to get up you had the nerve to tell me i was to drunk.
I don't need my coworkers thinking I'm a nutcase.
You gift wrapped a tampon.
Who are you to come into MY house and tell me when I can or cannot take my pants off?
That's why i need nudes. Plutonic nudes.
On a scale of 1-10, how inappropriate is it to sneak into someone's box of sex toys and put googly eyes on their vibrator?
You don't have to buy me dinner, watch tv or even hang out if you don't want. Just fuck.
NOT PREGNANT HIGH FIVE!
You know, I'm starting to enjoy brazilians. One day I'm going to make a therapist very very happy.
Randomize
