He looks like Spencer from the game Dreamphone
I wasn't fucked. I was just drunk, because i was still able to walk into the woods and masterbate.
Please come to History lecture. The kid two seats over is belligerently drunk.
I want a vodka facial right about now. I'm talking about straight vodka bukkake
We tried to line dance with everyone but it turned into drunken stumbling and attempting to grind on random frat boys. I feel that this might turn into an every Thursday thing.
So we just left her at the hospital. She is not ruining my Monday night
This should be a warning to men everywhere: do not send pictures of your erect penis to women you hardly know - they will add cats and send them to all of their friends.
also, I heard you can donate your eggs for like $8gs....hellloooo mediterranean vacation. thank youuuu future babies!!!
i should probably stop thinking with my vagina, and start using that $70, 000 education i can't afford. what the fuck.
The inside of my nose has felt like the guy's face falling off from raiders of the lost ark all week
I want to get up and tell you that smells delicious but I'm struggling with the idea of pants
No. Every time we go there, you end up getting high, then lost, then going home with strangers.
FUCK and YOU. times 10. To infinity and beyond. You bastard. Worst. Cockblock. Ever. I'm going to nail your sister.
Nothing says you made great Saturday night choices like someone's dick that you don't remember, poking you in the ass Sunday morning.
I hate that I still want him to look at me as the vagina that got away.
Randomize