Goddamnit I hate your level headedness
it was like playing where's waldo with your underwear
he thought i was passed out so he proceeded to jerk off while i lay on the floor next to him
The only problem is i have violated all potential new years resolutions at the new years party.
It was like watching Stephen Hawking try to swim.
i dont care. it has been a 14 hour day, and we are all celebrating by alternating shots and grilled cheese.
Guess who just screamed "Everything happens for a reason!!" in the abortion clinic. This girl.
jake and the teradactyl broke up, operation get high and find him a new girl who hasn't had sexual experiences with three delts simultaniously is in full effect.
Only you two could pull off a partner swap with honeymooners
This gem of a conversation has been brought to you be weed
OMG BTW REMEMBER HOW HE ORDERED PIZZA THAT ONE TIME WE HOOKED UP. APPARENTLY HE WAS HANDING IT OUT TO PEOPLE WHO LIVE IN MY BUILDING AS HE WAS LEAVING
You think he will forgive me for the paper being a week late if I bring him a beer?
...it's a 9am class...
I had the most traumatic dream I've ever had just now. I ripped my dick off because a girl asked me to and spent the rest of the dream crying about my dick
ANNA YOU PEED ON THE STREET. LIKE NOT EVEN SUBTLY. YA JUST SQUATTED IN THE MIDDLE OF THE HIGHWAY. And you flashed your tits to oncoming vehicles to try to get them to pick us up
If I hear that song one more time I will drive to hell and make John Lennon eat my ass.
Randomize