no more stoned jack in the box. this is the third night in a row.
Welp...herpes.
1. They have gold fish races every wednesday. 2. They have a redbull vodka slushie. We need to visit this place.
1. My fish will beat your fish. 2. Were getting fucked up
At least my fat-chick-ratio has not been that bad this semester ...
New level of stoned. My Terry's Chocolate Orange didn't 'whack-and-unwrap' so I ate it like an apple.
He drunk dialed me at 2am asking if he could put a baby in me.
Go to hungover. Go directly to hungover. Do not pass go. Do not collect 200 dollars
Riding the train home at 6 am for class still drunk is losing its novelty in my junior year
He initiated the conversation by sending me a picture of his penis at 4 am
I plan on blacking out and milking a cow
he just fucked me for my cheese..
It's hard to talk dirty with a mouth full of peanut butter
Only in the emergency room do they shut the door when youre laughing too hard
I'm praying to the gods of sex we both get laid this weekend. Amen. Love you
First aid class means get dry humped by moderately attractive college students during heimlich maneuver training.
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