Girl last night got so wet when I was going on down her it flooded up my nose. I nearly drown
I'm at my inlaws playing Scrabble. Go Fuck Yourself.
I just found 22 drunken videos and 4 naked pictures on my phone. We'll start the bidding at $5
so I smoked with the leasing agent of the apartment complex. Of corse I am going to take this one
he started fingering my stomach rolls instead of my vag... am i really that fat?
there is a time and a place for ass-grabbing and that was not it.
ITS DAYLIGHT SAVINGS TIME SUNDAY EVERYTHING IS GOING TO BE OK AFTER ALL
5am is far to early to be on jagerbomb number 6 right now
onest when I told you I'm a paramedic but I'm also a stripper.
Hey that girl we tagged team last night invited me to her birthday on Facebook, remind me to be sick that day.
Want to come over and play therapist and then fuck all the emotion away?
I already googled the effects of Molly with my antibiotics, I should be fine.
Why is there even a knowledge base for that?!
I Pavlov-trained him by smacking him in the nuts anytime I caught him looking at another girl in public. To this day, he's afraid to break eye contact with me in a restaurant if a tall busty blonde walks in.
Burnt food and a broken vibrator. Disappointment after disappointment. Is April a man?
I hope you know, that by sending me a cat meme back, you've entered in a cat picture battle; which never has an end in sight.
The duel has begun.
Someone's gotta tell him drunk sex comes before dating
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