i just looked up and i was like omg ballsack and then i didnt know what to do
i realized i had a pad on before i went to this guys house so i stuck it in his neighbors shrub.
I get a nice feeling when i open my fridge and see it filled with thirty beers and half a leftover jimmy johns pickle.
forgot a fork. i am eating fettucini alfredo with a comb that i rinsed off the the bathroom sink. eating alone in my car. life doesn't get any sadder than this
he's got a countert top full of yard sale blenders so id say maragita wednesdays is a go.
If our dicks could shake hands in congratulations they would
I literally saw him try to open a beer can with his anus. We need o step up our game.
I'm thinking about wearing a strap-on just to freak him out the next time he pulls my pants off.
When I picked you up, you were drinking Maker's Mark out of the bottle with a crazy straw.
My roommates call me "Queen of the Skanks" I guess that means I've had a successful first month of college.
A guy just picked up ur brother and carfied him away singing and im slight concern
It's no shave November. This is our time.
Life without a bra equals bliss.
He told me he felt the only proper thing to do was fuck me to the top of the corporate ladder
I tied him up for his boyfriend so he could get fisted... I'm the best roommate ever.
Wow. That's certainly more than I've ever done for a roommate.
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