She said as long as i don't wake her up she doesn't care what hole i use.
Got yourself a keeper right there.
atleast your grandma didn't give you her USED dildo just so you wouldn't have sex.
I got her a Nickelback box set.
Just look for the house with the beer knights.
I just found cold cuts in the blender. You and beefeater can no longer have unsupervised parties.
After i black out, be a good friend and point me to the direction of a girl with daddy issues, any girl would do just fine
Hi future me, I saved you a big mac under the bed.
Bon Iver should never be played when you just ate shrooms.
You don't understand, we were on a waffle house. Both of us were absolutely certain we passed out at his place then BAM! Waffle house.
WHEN DID YOU SAY YOU COME BACK BC I GOT INVITED TO A KEG WAR PARTY
after giving head I just always feel like I need like. ice cream. as both a means of getting the lingering sperm out of my mouth, and a congratulations.
be warned: you might find a baby hampster in my bra
So I'm guessing that puking on a camper is a straight path to instant termination?
I'm a dude in a dress, who came to a party with Holly GoLightly, got hit on by Bambi's mom, and wants to do terrible things to Link. Halloween is weird
well my apartment and my life are still a disaster but I did clean off my desk so that's gotta count for something...
Randomize
