I'm so high I just tried to eat a hair tie thinking it was one of my pretzels.
Exactly. wat kind of friend would i be if i even pretended to give a shit about ur problems
I thought of you while cleaning the forehead prints off my glass doors.
we got hammered off table wine and i ended up biting my acrylic nail off so i could finger his butt.. ill never look at valentines day the same
just saw someone climb out of the dumpster at cvs and start walking down the street like it was completely normal
I think it's safe to say taking shots on the way to the emergency room was rock bottom. We're going to need to think of ways to top that between now and next new years eve...
If for no other reason than to cuddle with that puppy, you have to hook up with him again.
Checked my photo vault today... My self nudie folder is passing the 150 mark.
The weird thing is that you don't send them to anyone. You just keep them for yourself...
How early is too early to study with margaritas?
A blind guy just told me that even he could see i was gay and encouraged me to chat up the girl behind that counter bc he thinks we'd make a cute couple. Are all Canadians this helpful?!
I had sex with him for the first time drunk, dressed in a toddler overall tutu costume, at 2pm. Horrible start.
Is it okay that we fucked on my car hood, in his driveway, at 4 am with cars passing by ?
he high fived his dick after we had sex
i'm growling thTa how much i wNn slwwwp.
save me some of whatever you're doing i'll be there in five.
im having flashbacks to my time in a waffle cult composed of 9 to 14 year olds
Randomize
