he's the Salvador Dali of pubic shaving
I would give away a ton of these clothes but I doubt there are any homeless people who dress as slutty as me
on the brightside, the semester can only get better from getting a dui at 8 am on the first day.
your optimism is becoming unhealthy
Might just stay in and drink cuz of the hurricane. Yea I think Wisconsin might be safe but its a good reason to drink.
Like I had no idea he knew how to play girls the way he played me. His major is chemistry for christ's sake.
I should start handing out wavers before I have sex with someone. 1. Do you have anything to do tomorrow? 2. Are you ok with sleeping 12 hours from exhaustion. 3. Are you ok with a limp?
My only regret is that we didn't pee on our neighbors Prius
THIS TIME TOMORROW MY VAG IS GONNA BE BRAND SPANKING NEW.
Well I'm sleeping with two of them cause they have nice cars. And the third cause she has a big rack. I'm just really waiting for it all to blow up in my face so I can find a girl I'm actually interested in
just saw a guy snowshoeing to the liqour store
was it you?
...yes
My only regret this past weekend is abusing only 3 substances when I could have done so much more.
On her way to bed she said, "If you have sex on the couch, just move my blanket" Needles to say, we moved the blanket
I also know you puked in your shoe.
That would explain the note .... I apparently wrote myself an apology note from drunk to sober me .... saying "sorry for the fancy shoe soup" .... ugh I'll never drink again ...
I knew he was a classy dude because when I told him my name was Jen he said "Gin? Like Gin & Juice?"
I woke up in an ill fitting childs tutu this morning and the shower curtain is knocked down. Wtf happened?
Randomize
