I too understand the importance of cheesy bread
i wish there was an iPhone app that lets you write a TeXt LiKe tHiS
dude...come out of the closet already
Apparently getting drunk, buying a guitar from your local costco and walking in to an open mic night is not the same as rocking out to guitar hero...
you know you made it when your beer pong table is made from imported italian hardwood
My passouts and memory loss are great training for when I have alzheimers. You'll know where to look when I get lost.
It's 4th of July all over again, we were chasing with the pool water.
We would have taken you home with us, but you were outside the bar measuring a randoms stream of piss by walking along side it... you said you were only at 32 feet and it still had a couple of grooves to hit.
I apparently got up in the middle of the night after fucking him and started looking for you under piles of his clothing
I want falafel more than sex right now. That's really saying something for me...
I feel like I hate him but his dick too bomb to hate completely
If I die, sorry about rent.
Do not, I repeat, DO NOT uncuff him no matter how much he begs. He knows what he did.
He was referring to me as "Teenage Dream" the whole night
Tomorrow has nothing to do with the threesome
I am the one with the vagina. I get to call it.
My last one night stand called me today. Apparently I gave him a yeast infection in his mouth. Not sure how I should feel about this.
Randomize
