ya dads aren't the best wingmen
margs and chips and queso make the world go round
well and inertia
i freaking love being in a circle of guys. if i fart none of them suspect me.
There's a vagina buried somewhere in there.
That weatherman I hooked up with is on TV again
You would think that an uncircumcised man would understand how the hood of a clit works.
just wondering who decided to put a cup of throw up in my fridge
He bought me a pink rose and a Plan B. I really like this guy.
all i remember is being at the diner with her at 3am and her storming into the kitchen to make sure the chef gave me regular fries instead of home fries.
for future reference: playing drunken strip-twister is a euphemism for a threesome. just thought you should know.
this makes me concerned. not enough to actually do anything about it, but yeah.
Me saying I wish i was a better person + me pretending I don't want to fuck on my period = me lying
Me: I shouldn't go to the airport bar it's too expensive and I don't need it. Dark me: SHOTS AT 7 AM
I am beginning to doubt your commitment to my making poor choices tonight
you tried to strip tease your way into canada but got arrested instead. don't worry, your mom doesn't know.
Randomize