Apparently mediocre decisions were made last night. I woke up alone in my own bed with my fridge defrosted.
And I didn't go to bed alone. I am buckets of fail.
it's like her boobs came off with her bra
It's one thing to send dick shots. It's a whole other thing to send unimpressive dick shots while wearing crocs.
she wrote "need hug!" on a sticky note, put it on her back, and passed out on his bed. they're trying to figure out how she got into his room...
When I look at old family photos I know how jessica simpson feels when she watches dukes of hazzard
I feel awful
Physically or morally
Physically. The only immoral thing I did was steal money from strippers while they gave me lapdances.
I stood on the corner waiting to be picked up, dry heaving, and trying to block out the sun.
Is it unethical to trim my bush hair with the scissors from my office?
Only thig bad about that muscular chick from the gym is she liked it so rough I had to bust out a few wrestling moves from highschool
I'm bringing my passport in case we get drunk and wind up in Mexico
how much do I hate his dog? was just googling to see if you can rent a hungry eagle for the weekend hate.
I'm sitting here with a heating pad and a fan on me eating snow caps off of my boobs
I don't care if he's the coolest coworker, if he's living in his mom's basement at 30 you should not buy drugs from him
you're now officially the 3000 mile booty call. congrats.
she told me id be a great addition to their lesbian community and shes giving me sex eyes from across the room. come get me NOW
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