you were licking his little sister's watercolors and trying to paint with your tongue.
I just saw the pics of me from the costume party as Party Boy. I've effectively cock-blocked myself forever.
Just found out its our ciliated mucous membrane that traps the molly when we snort it. Biology does relate to life
He has a chalkboard tally in his bathroom of "Me vs. Toilet". He's losing.
I think im gonna have to stop sexting on the metra. The middle aged businessman behind me just leaned over and whispered 'dirty girl' and highfived his seatmate.
and on the second day it was tequilla tuesday. and the lord saw it was good.
Two words. Shotgunning Cognac.
This has already gotten way out of hand
hurry up this bar wont let me order big pitchers of beer for just myself
I'm gonna rob all up in that cradle
Can I interview you during sex or would that be weird?
so I was eating out this girl who was wearing my pirate hat In an alley behind the bar last night and some girl walks up and takes a picture. apparently we had a crowd of about 10 and it turned her on so she just didn't tell me
I got inside last night via doggy door
Somehow my family started talking about sex toys at breakfast.
So the next time I search for "Dragon Dildo" on my phone, I should probably clear the browser before handing my phone to someone and that's the first thing they see haha
He had a tattoo of a crown above his penis. He was AMAZING! It was well deserved. LONG LIVE THE KING!
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