It took me 40.8 seconds to take a dump at her house, I know because I timed myself.
I havent jerked off in so long, my dick literally prevented me from rolling over in my sleep this morning. new definition of painful?
I just want you to know IcyHot in the ear is weird. Don't ask.
It's a Lindsey's Going to Jail Theme party.
i have no feeling in my penis or fingers but i think it was worth it
Hello and welcome to the game 'Matt needs weed'! Rules are simple: first one to find a bag wins the fabulous prize of getting stoned with yours truly. Thank you for playing and good luck!!
I was peeing in the bathroom at this house party when a guy just casually stumbles out of the shower
Why would I take you home? That would eliminate the chances of you making bad decisions I could ridicule you about later.
So, no matter what happens today, hold on to this. At least you're not naked under your ex husband's trench coat being stopped by the police who also work with your ex husband. Long story. Actually, not a long story. That's it.
She can't even plan ahead to have toilet paper for her next shit
I jumped the fence at the bar last night. My dress got stuck and I ended up flashing the entire patio for a good 30 seconds.
At the 10 second mark everyone started to whistle and cheer. Free drinks all night
I think it may be easier if I stay drunk/high til the wedding. You game?
Questions: How did Rachel get home? Why did I find both her ID's in my shoes? And does anyone know if she's alive?
He's a college graduate, has an excellent job, and respects his family. To say nothing of his 8.5 inch cock. His narcolepsy not withstanding...I'm marrying this motherfucker.
Bro I rebuilt the dungeon in animal crossing visit me
Broooo
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