Well my night just got interesting. I just home from the police station. Hope you had a fun night out!
I'm taking a dump and eating a fortune cookie and it said "Force it to be successful"
Don't remember much from last night, but I recall slipping you the tounge. For that I apologize
the igloo is complete. bring your weed and the hat with the floppy ears
Well let's just say that she ended up trying to get it in with the wheelchair guy, who btw, can get an erection and quickly I might add
I'm sneaking you alcohol into a hospital. This either says love or "we have a problem"
It's official, no more fat chicks or even close to that, my balls are 2 dimentional
at one point he couldn't find his underwear so he put on my catsuit to go to the bathroom
Come on. I'll make you hot pockets. Literally and sexually.
Dude, I think shitting blood should be a cause for concern not celebration that you had a great night.
It's like that thing with the devil and the angel except one shoulder has orgasms and the other has stuffed crust pizza and depression.
The hotel had a helipad. Of course we had sex on it.
I didn't tell that thing I wasn't coming over. Whoops
You know you haven't dated in a while when you call boys "that thing" and call dates "a boy type thing."
No I did a yoga dvd and hit my ex up via email for some pot in exchange for his mail.
She gave me a boner for the first time in 9 years.
Randomize
