ive never been so in love with another man before, in a totally none sexual way... no homo
The dr is doing well, he randomly asked if I was bi
I was 10 minutes late leaving for lunch today because I couldn't lose a boner. It is impossible to tuck it when your shirt is tucked in...gotta quit facebook stalking hot chicks at work
Dont you think its a little early in the relationship for sexting?
the only time i'm productive on weed is when i drink.
I'm making a contract of things you're not allowed to put in my ass
And leave it to John to ask the cabby to make a Porno in his cab
some drunk bitch driving a golf cart ran over the live band... its bad.
somehow this turned into a costume party you have to get here now with my banana suit or I'm wearing my birthday suit
Oh that could end badly if you get them mixed up.. you know who I think you should focus on?? THE ONE WITH THE BIG BLACK COCK, just sayin
It was a great idea until we got stuck in a ditch. We had to call redneck cousin 1
The guy I screamed at across the bar for booing the Bruins ended up buying me shots I had to explain to him there's not a chance in hell I would ever fuck a Canadian! #Bostonstrong
I just used a gift card from my in-laws to buy their daughter a vibrator. What even are morals?
Question: have you ever spent your Tuesday evening helping your one-night-stand create a resume? Because I have...
Look don't ask questions just know that one thing led to another and I have a shot glass stuck in my ass. I need your help!!!
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