I just got called an ass for saying no thanks to a Greenpeace solicitor. I don't want the whales to die but I do want Greenpeace to fail. Conundrum.
people will do anything to get on MTV. like get pregnant.
im just gonna turn drinking alone on new years into a tradition
Considering the fact that you wouldn't give me my cat last night because he was "destined for broadway", yeah, I'm accusing you of stealing him
For my 21st birthday, I require a kiddy pool filled with vodka. Make it so.
She is banging on the liquor store door begging them to let her come in.
The shit show didn't end. it just relocated itself to my apartment instead of yours.
you also need to get my treadmill fixed.
Hes wearing a shirt that says warning shitshow and i cant help but think his attorney made him wear it so ppl know the dangers.
Whatever happend to that lawsuit where he got sued for shittig in that fish tank
Tequila pump. I'm ecstatic your engineering degree has real world application.
New low reached: a cockroach has actually drowned itself in our dirty dishes. We are heathens. Cleaning dance party tonight. No excuses.
All I remember is allowing my uber driver to pull over on the side of the road to give me a massage. I was alone
I mean, she's batshit insane and once choked a guy with one hand but she's still MILF material in my book.
I can feel the shame as I walk down your hallway.. good night
I remember yelling at him telling him that the strippers were "nice people."
she told him my safe word. I'm gonna casually work it into conversation and at him suggestively to see if he realizes i want to have rough sex with him
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