This old guy in denny's is sitting alone and he is looking at us and laughing for no reason
who's fault is it that she tells me today she is only 16 because i definately met her at the bar...
dude sorry but u no that when a guys 'likes' ur pic on facebook it only means he was just jacking off to it.
Also I got A jello shot for $2!!! It's like the forever 21 of bars
So I'm probably the first guy in history to tap out of a blowjob.
he said i looked like a lion with slutty lingerie on .
Paying 5 grand for boobs is saving me like 10 grand in weed
He puked on the grill while the burgers were on. We had to go to taco bell
No more jager for that guy. He jacked the neighbor kids big wheel, rode around making jet noises, then passed out behind the wheel and rolled it and broke his wrist
He was super stoned and then he compared doing meth to having anal sex and told me to "ride that cowboy." The cowboy being my ex.
well you don't shave your pubes into a handlebar mustache and keep the party to yourself
I can't wait to get home and brush the fuck outta my teeth.
Literally.
My poor liver. I drank enough on NYE to sustain an alcohol addiction for the entirety of 2015.
My desperation for dick was off put by his anime figure collection.
I now know he's been cheating for a while. I also know HER name, address, phone number, Facebook account, religion and zodiac sign. I feel like I'm earning my restraining order. Point is, never fuck over a librarian.
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