I came back to the apartment and he was waiting for me, covered in mustard.
needless to say I left
yes, the chronicles of narnia is exactly what happens when you do crack inside of a wardrobe.
it will be a sad day when drinking racks of keystone isnt socially acceptable anymore
I slept with some guy because he drew a dinosaur on my arm
it's a gatorade, cheez its, and regret kind of morning....
This is most sickening thing I've ever seen, and I threw up my body weight in jello shots on my birthday.
She literally got down on all fours and I swear did a 360 degrees head rotation exorcist barf...and then moaned IT WAS THE TACO BEEEELLLLLL
so no, not her best night
Is it worth it to drive to a zoo with a high possibility of sex at said zoo?
I like to think it's an accomplishment that I can relate my life to a T-pain song
My CPA just snapchatted me a picture of her playing beer pong at a picnic. Time to do my own taxes?
Just had my first american. He tasted like freedom.
it's gotten to the point where I just look in my closet, think, "which article of clothing behaves most like a towel?" and then just go with that
holy shit I just remembered that story I told about Tom hanks going bowling while high.
well it was great until i saw his anime body pillow
What the hell do you do when your fuck buddy leaves to go for a piss naked and 20 minutes later hasn't come back and can't be found anywhere in the house or outside but has left his phone, tee shirt and shoes in your bedroom.
I don't think there is a pre defined social etiquette for a lost naked fuck buddy now roaming the streets.
Randomize
