i just rolled a joint on the giving tree. that book has given me so much.
I wouldnt endorse that guy if he was walking in a walkathon to raise money for a disease i had
she carries around a jar of peanut butter. "just in case".
Pretty certain he passed out for a while going down on me. Absolutely certain he passed out during the blow job.
Drunk walkin through police station. America
When I sent you a text telling you to splash water on your face, you texted me back with 'Iwehre N qyull.'
I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call
Dude you have to come get or im gonna nail this 64 y/o woman as repayment for buying me shots of jager
Quick! What do I wear on a 4 hour road trip with an older guy in the army I had pantomime sex with in a hotel a few months ago?
I also found a beer label in my bra and I'm pretty sure you put it there and said "this means I trust you"
The number of males in the usa getting circumsized are decreasing. Keep this in mind when we become cougars
He threw me over his shoulder and carried me outside, all the while drinking from the bottle of rum he was holding, while my ex watched. I'm winning the break-up.
I can feel your judgement through the phone
please tell me he didn't just scream 'i am the yiff lord' at the cops
Tell me why I woke up with your dads construction shirt on, nothing else, and had jelly donuts with a note from a girl named cathryn that said "we had a kinky night with peanut butter". p.s. Im by the layin by the lawnmower
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