so are u like ashamed lol?
not really. i dont look at it as being homeless. im just going to pretend im on an extended camping trip
She just texted me saying, "I wish you were a better person so I could fuck you without regrets"
I'm one shot of soco 100 away from fucking a mailbox
who loves string cheese????? I LOVE STRING CHEESE!!!
you know...if you didn't give such great head little things like this would ruin our friends with benefits relationship.
I took the precaution of putting my macbook the one place in the dorm there is no way i can piss on it... the toilet
The dry cleaners wouldn't even take our clothes. That's how bad of a night it was.
She took a picture of me when she thought I was sleeping. I don't know whether to be amused or scared.
doing a walk of shame covered in blue food coloring is only embarrassing if you make it embarrassing...actually no its embarrassing on all accounts
maybe volvos are so family friendly and safe because they're extremely uncomfortable to get fucked on.
You are number one in my heart. But in the dick Olympics you're disqualified.
We've gotten 3 pitchers already by trading for CUPCAKES
Should I be scared that after we hooked up she took antibiotics with Sailor Jerry's?!
NO BABIES. YOUR VAGINA WILL BLEED WITHIN A FORTNIGHT.
I told him no rough stuff and he immediately bit my ass. Who the fuck does that?
She was drunk at Red Robin. She asked for more fries and then shoved them in her purse while saying "Come on bitches, you're coming with me" to them.
Randomize
