we gave some random guy a shot for shoveling our sidewalk.
I just was on a 20min team conference call where I didn't speak, I used a Gus Johnson soundboard online to answer questions asked to me...the highlight of 2010
Fucked her within an inch of her life. Seriously. Don't choke bitches when they ask. Was way too drunk to be pulling that shit.
whoever threw up in my shampooo bottle is totally getting defriended on facebook.
i tried to stop you. you just kept saying your split ends needed punishment.
Thank you for holding my bra last night while i did a topless lap around the house
haha she has always seemed a little off. when i met her i was told she was the queen slut. and she had a crown on at the time. it seemed appropriate.
The bet was for naked jumping jacks. And it back fired, she just laughed at all the slapping noise.
You know you're hung over when the glare from the cream cheese on your bagel is just too bright...
All I know is that I woke up with glitter all over me and blood on my shoes. It wasn't my blood.
Yesterday we were fuck buddies and today I'm meeting his mom. That escalated quickly.
Stop confusing me with every girl you know that doesn't like sex.
Sorry. We had to leave because I knocked a guy out for saying "yolo".
She made me undress her with my teeth...explains the button in my shit this morning...
I forgot to lock the door last night. I woke up cuz a guy opened my bedroom door, asked me who I was and where he was. And there was another guy standing in the living room asking me if I knew what apartment "Travis" lives in.
I woke up to him watching me sleep and after I told him it was over he asked if we were still on for Vegas next weekend
Randomize
