Strip flip cup NEVER equals good idea
just took a sink shower in Arbys bathroom
He just kept yelling woof and then threw money all over me...
I need a DD tuesday morning around 9 AM
I'm scared to ask why.....
1st bikini wax. Jose Cuervo is helping me prepare.
i think i pulled off the nice guy thing too well. it just backfired later on when she thought i was actually nice.
so jimmy johns showed up at our party last night. our house is sponsored now. living the dream.
Something's wrong. Everything's on fire. Unless it was like that before. Then everything's alright.
on my way to nyc to take a survey about my sexual activity. if you dont hear from me for a few days, assume they had me committed...
If I had that in my pants Omg I would want a shirt made so everyone knew
i dont know how he's 22 and thinks emoticons will get him laid. lady boner just died.
do you think this outfit says "I maintained my dignity this weekend"?
I just took two shots of Burnerts out of a ladle. Get here now.
He sent me a snapchat of him singing wrecking ball. Guess what the wrecking ball was. Hint: he literally came.
Couch. On fire.
I smell of tequila and Im going to a funeral. This is my life.
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