She announced her abortion via fbk
My family just suggested tequila shots. I had Vietnam style flashbacks.
Just used the D.E.N.N.I.S system successfully.
There's a girl sitting in front of me making a PowerPoint on Jack Bauer.
You just got cockblocked by Conan O'Brien.
Because you know it would be fucking amazing to get trashed and shatter the dreams of 12 year old girls. I might get a shirt.
I think I actually have rug burn on my eye.
Like there's an 87% chance I'll end up on the bedroom floor demanding sex while freestyling in your face. I'm going to buy rum.
I accidentally walked in the wrong house but I somehow left with a chicken leg. Good fucking night.
Oh man, are we repeating last 4th of July?!
That shouldn't even be a question, it's a tradition now. Hope your manhood is ready.
its like a catch 22, sucks that you've stopped, but its like a vagina high five
meanwhile at my house I found 2 bud heavys in the back of my book shelf crammed between a Franklin book and goodnight moon
One day no one will want to send me dick pics so by all means keep 'em coming
I needed to pee, so I climbed out his window
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
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