If Andre Agassi did Crystal Meth, what was John McEnroe doing?
you yelled that ur labia majora was swollen at 3 am in the dorm hallway
Vodka + horseback riding = vomit in the saddle bags
I walked in and she was doing shots, betting the managers if any of the customers would notice, and screaming that nothing would ruin her Saturday night. Say what you want, I like working with my sister.
She posted on her FB that he moved out...It's like she wants me to fuck him.
Is your answer to that text seriously a right parenthesis
Apparently while trying to get up from vomiting in the toilet I grabbed the seat cover for leverage and smashed my own head between it and the bowl. I don't remember this.
Apparently "I have the beer shits" isn't the excuse my boss wanted to hear. So sue me
How dare you question the sanctity of Chocolate-and-Porn day
the manischevitz sangria was a big hit
Whether ya want it or not, it's gonna happen. Assimilate to the gay
You don't realize how cold it really is...I poured my bong out the second floor window and icicles hit the ground.
this potential sugar daddy just sent me a photo of him butt naked in the woods saying he wants to "grow our spirits together." so i think i found us a new drug dealer!
Well I just had a flashback of something I did in the 4th grade. Now I can't go back to sleep.
Ok, stop saying "youths." You're 23.
Randomize
