i'm signing you up for texting rehab
The 3 of us think it's time to start drinking.
3?
Me, myself and I
Your dad touched me again.
If one more person calls me a lesbian I am going to have to give you head in public.
I just went to a chocolate syrup wrestling party I think you need to get on my level
His whole family saw that I had cum in my hair once they turned on the blacklight at the bowling alley. You should have seen his mother's face.
Playing hide and seek with all those cheeseburgers... Not our finest moment.
You kept me hostage in your driveway until you got your point across that alaska has warm weather
Excuse me while I download incredibly disturbing porn until I'm more ashamed of myself than of my country.
We'll just play it by vagina and see where it leads us
Props to the guy blatantly doing coke in the bathroom at the bar. Walked out of the stall with a credit card in hand, sniffing loudly and shouting "choo choo"
He told me we shouldn't hang out because it would be weird and then snap chatted me a picture of his dick
The real estate's complaint had the words "loud squealing at 2am" in it. Then I remembered that was me spoon feeding you guys old potato salad while you screeched like baby birds. Great night.
I feel like a bottle of fireball rented a bull dozer and ran me over until I was left without a shred of my dignity
Don't be alarmed when we finally get naked and I let out a WOOHOO!!!
Randomize
