new low: just stole a ciggarette from a bum sleeping on the side of the street.
ohh what kind?
Do you know a sam ****, im at the bar right now and lookin for some dirt on her to guilt trip her in to sex
the lady in the checkout infront of me had a case of beer, two 40 oz, and activia...really??i dont' think irregularity is her problem
i sent you a picture of beads you send me a picture of boobs how hard is this to understand
This tiny cat is tiny breathing with her tiny lungs and im having a tiny freak out. Like those lungs have to be super tiny.
Drinking vodka and pirating music in the library. Welcome to finals week.
We were high as shit. We argued for like ten minutes about going to Dunkin Donuts and then just ended up rolling down hills. Thanks for the weed.
My gynecologist just said "don't worry, this won't be as hard as…well…" A FUCKING SEX JOKE NO
he's just got his life so together and it makes my pussy wet.
You don't have issues. You're a consenting adult having sex at work. Go you.
I have shit my pants twice this week. #adulthood
Do you know how fucking great a bath bomb is when you're high?
HE MIGHT HAVE YOUR BUTTHOLE, BUT HE CANT HAVE YOUR HEART. THATS MINE.
I WANT BLOOD. HERS. I WILL DYE A FABULOUS PAIR OF SUEDE PUMPS RED WITH HER BLOOD.
WHAT THE FUCK DREAM ME
I'M GONNA PUNCH THAT BITCH THE FUCK DID SHE THINK SHE WAS DOIN
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