Brogan sounds similar to Bridget...sorta.
Every girl's name is automatically translated to "Baby/Milk Carrier" in my brai
bitch so ugly she owes me an erection
Oh. Thats cool. Im not dating anyone right now. Sean gave me chlamydia from some GUY he fooled around with. Im being abstinent.
I don't want to have to wonder if I'm draining my pasta in the same side of the sink you pissed in
i would bitch about being this hungover, but honestly im just happy to be alive after this weekend
There was no way out of it, seeing as I left my photo ID right next to the vomit.
we were shitfaced at work by 8pm. I had to stop myself from pouring vodka in everyone's cappuccino.
Valuable lesson learned: if you reach the point where you have to talk yourself in to finishing the last half of your beer, you shouldn't try.
Last time i was there we saw the window of the pizza place we were at get busted, we were pulled out of a taxi to be questioned by the cops, and we peed outside a waffle house. I'm in.
Get here, there are important joints to be smoked and pies to be eaten
It's that moment where you find out the girl you've been dating for 6 months is a mob daughter. Post breakup.
If I don't get my shit together, I'm going to be one of those really fucked up cases on 1000 ways to die
Immediately after I scarfed down an Applebee's appetizer trio for lunch, my boss sent me on an hour long road trip to pick up some parts. Great. I can't wait to shit my pants on US-31 South.
She fucked the dishwasher AND the manager.
Well, she isn't a classist. You've got to give her that.
1) break up with him. 2) feel bad. 3) fuck some other guy. 4) feel better. Boom! Life plan. You're welcome.
Randomize
