So when does "going out for one drink" = giving some guy an HJ on the sidewalk?!?
Never drink rum straight from the bottle, even if people say it'll make you a pirate. It won't: it'll make you a bumbling shitfaced idiot who just drank rum straight from the bottle.
just broke no shave november. hello backed up drain december.
Grandma was not a fan of the beer-can ornaments. Not "traditional".
3rd rule of buttsex she must be clean and shower recently
and skipped dinner
I had to jump out of her car while it was moving enough said
Sorry, all I could picture was you jamming your dick into a lemon.
I fully committed to my astronaut costume, to say the least. blacking out on moonshine and having a moonwalk of shame this morning: happy Halloweekend.
Let's play another riveting game of "Whose boxers are hanging on my fence?"
Nooo. I was entirely happy pretending that my vagina only existed for peeing and releasing Satan's waterfall.
You rolled over grabbed my crotch and said "that's my waffle." I'm sleeping on the couch next time.
And now, by the power vested in me by the state of intoxication, I now pronounce you fucking awesome.
I just made deviled eggs for everyone not passed out. Im officially becoming a drunk chef.
She woke up, peed in the sink and then passed out again, it's only 2 in the afternoon
She’s 47 and wants me to fuck her on her mom’s hospital bed
Randomize
