y did u give ur computer a hand job?
Crap im kindd 0f drunkk we just hooked up in a mcdonalds parking lot but i dont know why how we are here
Oh my god he is having a sentimental moment right now.
He just sent me like a really heartfelt confession of love in which he ended with "make the apt, I'll hold your hand while you get your clit pierced."
if women knew the size of my dick, theyd be much more receptive to my sloppy drunken advances
I had my first sober conversation with his roommate. I remembered half way through that the first time we met I was getting fucked on his counter
Just had a flashback of dry humping a man lying in the street while Jim (dressed as santa) screams 'HAVE YOU BEEN A GOOD BOY?!'
Smoked a topless bowl this morning. For International Women's Day. Quite liberating.
I'm the brains and you're the boobs of this operation.
We played Rock Paper Scissors to see who would have to go down on the other person.
You know you're too high when you find yourself crying at " hand in my pocket" by Alanis Morissette because it's "just TOO REAL"
party tonight. bring as many traffic cones as you can find. we need to section off the blackout drunks way better this time
He started talking about getting a puppy together. So of course I went down on him later
Just got my LSAT score...if you need me I'll be drunk in a ditch somewhere.
because he's a firefighter, wouldn't sleeping with him be like saying thank you to the community?
It's done, I'm done, goodbye veneer of class and dignity it was nice knowing you
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