in a basement doing blow off a prince dvd next to a chick in a saddam mask
in the practice room. just found 3 bottles of smirnoff hidden inside the piano. SO glad i didn't get into berklee...
they described our state of being as looking similar to a crime scene....you were on the ground and i was running around screaming.
they fed me a peach. i was laying on the floor telling them how beautiful they were
Apparently you can talk a girl into leaving the bar and coming back to your tent, who knew?
The bar has bullet holes in the ceiling, and the country singer had been playing drunken weezer covers. A man just bought me a beer on the grounds that I 'have his back' in a fist fight with a stranger texan. And, yes, the bartender is wearing a sherif's badge
Really because I got kicked out the eagles game for running up n down the steps singing ' fly eagles fly ' then punched a Dallas fan in the face before the game even started..
We should totally stay in at new years, have sex and try to time orgasm to the countdown
The ranger made you choose between a ticket and pouring all the beer out since it was a state park.
I've never seen you that close to tears as you poured out 30 beers.
And they have kittens that decided that boobs are apparently the best arena for king of the hill...
How was it playing wingman?
I feel like I was rockys coach watching him get the shit beaten out of him by Apollo creed
Realistically you can't tell me you're gonna put mashed potatoes on your dick and expect me not to get excited
I need to be put in a corner surrounded by pamphlets of stds and babies
she started chasing me through the forest like a horny serial killer
I talked to his mom for a good 10 minutes with coke all over my nose. Not the best first impression
Randomize
