He is fucking rediculously sexy. DO HIM NOW. NOW. NOW. NOW.
I've already planned a drinking game for mtvs jersey shore....jagerbomb everytime they do
I could get a dump truck for 1000. Think of the possibilities.
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
It was dark, she woke me up, gave me a blowjob and then whispered in my ear: do you know who I am?
What is the current exchange rate for ramen to jello shots?
When people ask about my bruises, I'm just going to say it was a doorknob. Or possibly a group of doorknobs. Angry doorknobs.
Fuck my life, there's a fry in my vagina.
My masturbation fantasy just had a wedding theme. I need new hobbies.
My tits, and hanging out behind a hotel eating pizza.
Literally too hungover to clean. I'll get the frosting off the table tomorrow, ok?
Also, we found a geriatric Snoop Lion.
You've never really lived until you tell someone you have an STD over snap chat.
She text me that night and asked how the dick was and I quote my drunk self "average at best"
This should be illegal
It is
I mean more illegal... I shouldn't have this
Randomize
