you would pick up someone in the library
i think at one point throughout the night i began eating birthday cake with a q-tip.
just did awkward shuffle by the bagels in the dining hall at 7:30 AM with a kid i've hooked up with. goodbye freshman year.
I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
isnt this the same guy you hooked up with on his birthday and he then asked, "you were at me birthday?" the next time you were together?
You were so excited to be getting 4 tickets to the Whale Rodeo.... That high
I got to explain to the guys at work today how i had no choice but to go to a gay bar because I was handcuffed to a lesbian.
She gives the worst handjobs, it was like raw meat on a cheese grater
I don't save the phone numbers of guys I don't like. That way it's a surprise when a random number texts me and tells me I have great tits.
The drunk fake out is her specialty. She'll agree to come with us and two seconds later we check to make sure she's still there and we see her booking it down the hall in the opposite direction.
i just looked at those "hey" messages and i was so confused and then i remembered we were practicing texting with our tongues.
You grabbed your house keys, threw them at the door and asked, "did it open?"
I kept on yelling at him to get his shit together as he was puking
I'm trying to be sexual and you're sending me smashmouth lyrics
Lol, yeah it'll be fun,but will it be cereal and dick pics fun?
Randomize