I met a girl last nite that charged by the inch. i didnt have enough money but i figured shed be a good deal for u
With such a small dick you'd think he'd try to make up for it with some sort of personality.
I'm like cupid
You're a whore with a bow and arrow
The guy in 209 is masturbating with the door cracked again
So I've been to the library twice so far. Both times were for the atm, and once I was stoned. Junior year is going great.
I asked her if she was the outdoorsy type, she replied "I had sex on a fourwheeler once, does that count?"
Convinced the domino's pizza delivery person to go to shaws and buy me a bottle of wild turkey. For america.
I've got a whole match.com system. Triple book. First dates always get the 6pm happy hour drinks slot. 8pm dinner goes to a girl where I think I can close the deal. 10pm slot goes to the sure thing in case of emergency, but 6 can always trump 8 and 8 always trumps 10. Just blame it on a dead iPhone battery.
That, my friend, is how I bang 50 new girls a year. Not luck at all. It's science and statistics.
Last time we had an ultimatum like that, things went very far south. I'm down, but it's your turn to wake up in a hospital.
i swear i just dislocated a hip staying still
His legs actually look hot in that dress. He might even make a better girl than Josh
We are trying to penis chicken awkward them out. But I think it's a gay wedding. Backfiring. Heavily.
how do you feel about japanese?
I would eat half a street meat hotdog I found on the sidewalk, I'm good with anything.
So help me God.... if he sends me a dick pic.... I will make it so he has to eat food through a tube in his nose and poop into a bag by his belly button
So I guess I walked across campus with "pat my ass" in sharpie on my forehead.
You deserve it, you colossal cock block.
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