If there's anything in this world better than hotboxing in the rain I haven't found it yet.
Agreed
Which one of you FUCKERS filled the toilet with soil and planted my mothers daisys in it? NOT FUCKING HAPPY
I just worked out and used handles of vodka as weights. Whoever said alcoholism is detrimental to you health obviously has no fucking idea.
We have to talk through the words with friends chat so his gf won't find out
She is just riding on my slutty coat tails.
i don't even know why we got arrested this time. i think the cops just like our company at this point
So, I'm drinking, and I put my head down in the table. The cat jumped up to check on me, I have a cat sober monitor.
And then we will celebrate by drinking and making fun of him. As per usual.
Human centipede...with the teletubbies. That's what my nightmare had in it.
I don't even want to know.
I may have just masturbated while on hold with the IRS. don't judge me
How do you politely tell someone to get out of your house in Russian
Thank you for stroking my rage monster tonight.
Wtf can everyone stop fucking in my grandma's bed? This is like the third time
You told me that you couldn't come over because you felt like you were gonna die and that houses eat you when you die, and my house couldn't eat you because your house would be jealous. That's when I knew to take the bowl away from you.
he went down on me WHILE i ate BACON PIZZA! best. boyfriend. ever.
Randomize
