dude your cousin who was wearing the skirt wasn't wearing any underwear
gross she's a slut
yea she doesn't shave either
apparently i was offering everyone ambien and shouting, it's only like heath ledger if you want it to be!
so I was like, you know platform 9 3/4? I know something else with those measurements. best. pick up line. ever.
I sware she could use her own nose as a dildo.
i did the 'picked up item' thing from zelda when i jizzed on her face
so you're single again?
yea but it was worth it
our school mascot just walked into class and threw condoms everywhere. welcome to college
i just discovered a movie that charlize theron is a sex addict. i think my prayers have been answered
I Know I'm the drunk girl in the trunk right now, BUT PLEASE LISTEN TO ME!
His ankle bracelet went off in the middle of sex. That makes a girl reevaluate her life...
Occasionally I curse my inner 15 year old when I'm fulfilling their dreams as a slut, but I roll with it.
I'm a gymnast. they should know better than to let me get dunk near anything i can flip on
We have hung out 5 times and only had sex 3 of those times. I'd call that friendship
You sat on me. Like I was a toilet. While I was on the toilet. You peed a little.
Angels sing when his face is between my thighs. I came 3 times before he even came up for air.
i just found a pair of your underwear stuffed behind my harry potter books...was that on purpose?
haha no, it was majik
Randomize