so Mike and I made a deal. we'd do anal if he would help me pick out carpet tomorrow.
What...you let him do that?
It wasnt that bad. the two minutes it took is nothing compared to the 10 hr day I have planned for him tomorrow
Sometimes, dog treats look like people treats.
Becky drew a cock on my face and is making me sit on the step.
what did you do that she drew a cock on your face and supplemental questions why did you let her?
He had an itunes playlist named "def not Glee season 1" which contained all of Glee season 1
hes like the used car salesman of hook ups and closed the deal w my taking him home with me,as is,today
So there I was praying he didn't go limp again, choking on a long, long gray ball hair. This is my Saturday night. This. Is. My. Life.
But once you explained how to fill cupcakes with semen I realize you were harmless and right on my level.
He gave me the "find somebody who wants to date you for who you are" speech while I walked around the house asking people for pants.
I met his parents. We played twister. My boob popped out.
Dinner at 5, shrooms at 10.
I fell into the fireplace. That is a pretty good sign to stop drinking fireball
Never do acid then ask for a blow job while watching 28 Days Later. Heed my advice.
I may have taken the entire adderall. I FEEL LIKE THE FUCKIN HULK. I can't stop cleaning and organizing and doing the clean things
I have two bottles of emergency tequila stashed under my desk at work.
Omg I joined a choir last night...
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