She just squirted all over my face. then laughed at me and took a pic
he literally had a slideshow of all the girls hes had sex with pictures set to american woman
I just fell down the stairs in the library and further deviated my septum. That's why I don't study.
his mom walked in, looked at me, sighed n nsaid 'when are u gonna learn' n walked out
I have reached the point in my life where I realized this is what I'm going to do for the rest of my life. Eat, shit , bar, drink, drank, drunk.
Also yeah I would definitely have to say that one of my favorite things to do is to get high and pet cats.
yeah, never be friends with someone with shitty eyebrows.. they obviously already make poor life choices
Is that a question you really want to ask or do you just want to tell you that I can't walk without feeling like my legs are collapsing underneath me
So last night was the first of "I got cut off before I walked in the bar".
Snow days are when you really appreciate that your neighbor is on your bang roster.
Dude mama brought home the bacon, i got his HBO account i guess that makes up for his by par skills in bed.
It's probably not a good thing when it isn't even 6:30 and I've already drank an entire bottle of wine. By myself. I'm watching Spice World and I just bought 2 Spice Girls albums off itunes.
Make that 3 Spice Girls albums.
I did crash a prom last night though.. It was fun
Omg. I checked my purse this morning and I'm pretty sure drunk me stole a frat guys tube of crest 3d white toothpaste. Like that's pretty fucked up but I think if I knew someone did that to me I'd probably still invite them over again cuz I'd be like, "this girl's creative, and has good hygiene."
I'm literally watching a webcam of the Vegas strip right now and it is making me sad.
Randomize
