I just saw a woman parallel park a horse. Awesome. Only in New York..
She was Ugg boots AND a Bumpit. Of course I didn't sleep with her.
i woke up convinced that my room was backwards i tried to go into the closet to get outta my room
I think I just made patron unclassy I bought limes at a gas station and for salt we are using gas station packets of salt
i feel like a lion cub that has been breast fed for years, and mom has left, and now i have to learn how to hunt on my own
I am undressing in in n out. They migit ca5l security. Are you provn d6 me?
OH MY GOD. SO PROUD.
I defriended her. I just can't support someone whose profile picture is of their water birth.
Also I had a dream we made my birth control into a joint. What does that mean?
I lost my vibrator temporarily and for some unknown reason my first thought was that you might have stolen it. But then I realized you would never do that because you know it keeps me from killing people. But I am overtired and lacking in faith.
IS NO AN EMOTION BECAUSE THAT'S WHAT I'M FEELING RIGHT NOW
Don't forget to grab a pregnancy test and sloppy joe mix for tonight
Dude someone puked in a bowl n put it in the fridge. I thought it was salsa! Who does that?
And here I am, playing fetch with my cat at two in the morning.
maybe you should have closed the porn before you gave the professor your computer to hook up to the projector?
We’ve got a propane heater on our back porch if you want to come over and eat a McRib in peace
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