She's like a coupon for free blow jobs. No purchase necessary.
She woke up 3 seperate times, each time she had a look of pure terror on her face, she had no clue where she was.
He just stabbed two olives and a pickle with a fork and deep throated it in front of my family
Not even marginally surprised
you are getting stockholm syndrome from your pubes
He sprained his penis one time
He was "naked wrestling" and fell off the couch and landed on his erect penis
Within 24 hours, I went to a feminist documentary screening with two state reps and you hate fucked a rent-a-cop on the helipad of your hospital. Somewhere our lives went in different directions.
I still make more money.
That kid i sell weed to just had his mom give him a ride over here she waited in the car while he bought a bag
Done deal I'm dying it right at this moment. I'll need a red Speedo and a half shirt that is extremely tight. Like nipple tight.
I'm pretty sure I said "this might be the last time I'm in here" but then I took his pants off so that's a mixed message
I mean I puked all over three separate towns last night and I still think you're the one who should reevaluate their life.
Best part about a crippling state-wide drought? Actually having a valid excuse for not showering
I supernannyed him into submission
I woke up at 6:30 in the morning on the A train on 14th street. You wouldn't know anything about that right?
ATTENTION: just found out of have strep. if we have had sex in the past week, might wanna go to the doctor. if you plan to have sex with me in the next 20 days go buy some condoms. stupid antibiotics.
Why does my mask smell like doritoes?
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