what date should I let him know how fucked up I am?
at least he left the skimmer on the side of the pool so i could fish out my thong in the morning
Good, she had spurs on her boots. That is a sign for instant herp attack.
I'm about to play Thunderstruck by myself, that way I'll always get the long thunder part.
You were pretty dunk by the time you introduced the vase as your best friend.
They glued all of the ceiling tiles shut.
oh my god. you caused complete remodeling to a college campus that you don't even go to
I only remembered where urgent care was because it's across the street from my favorite bar
You almost make it sound as if getting an education to further your career is more important than beer and tacos.
I can feel my liver begging me to stop.
His lack of social graces and moral fiber complements mine nicely.
Okay well we need to be adults. We're gonna end up with diabetes or some shit.
Ims textiofg thsi woht my noes bcuz my hansd aer stli handcuffde to teh bedfrme. Help me
I'm discussing Magic Mike with my mom and totally get why she thinks I'm gay.
YOUR TO-DO SEX LIST CANNOT CONSIST ENTIRELY OF MY THREE BEST FRIENDS
and their significant others
AND THEIR SIGNIFICANT OTHERS
My dick has been in way too much crazy the past 2+weeks, but hey it feels good to fuck consistently again
Randomize
