Luol and I just scored with two 40 year old married chicks. They dropped us off on the way to soccer prctic. The kids in the back were confused. Call me.
I needed to borrow my dads nail clippers and next to it was an industrial size box of condoms if that wasnt bad enough I dropped the clippers behind the bed and discovered hundreds of used condoms
I wish i could go to google and type in drug dealers and it would bring up a number, a product and direction
I thought all girls wanted is to get a boner
you want to re-phrase that?
12 garbage cans filled with water, a beer can floating in every garbage can, 20 ft. apart and you shoot with dodge balls..and thats only how the night began
you figure out which one you wanna sleep with, & I'll sleep with the other one. problem solved
The only bad thing about this relationship... my forearm strength is dwindling
I hate when people see you passed out in your front yard and call 911. Like what, you can't take a nap face down on your steps at 4pm?
No, absolutely not. If you see that cunt, throw confetti or eggs at her.
That's a pretty extreme jump from confetti to eggs
I specialize in how to hang out and party with randoms after you've hooked up with them. Not in feelings.
Hahahahaha. That's what your stoned ass gets for eating half a bag of processed cheese at 2am.
i know i saw many looks of jealousy when i walked solo into subway carrying a cheesy gordida crunch after taco bell closing hours
I'm sure for most of the people, it was the one and only miracle they will see
my dry spell has ended & now it's like a tsunami of dick i can't handle it
So you're saying that I ended up challenging a dude to Uno then proceed to punch them in the face?
I'm going to leave the 5 dollars that fell out of my bra while fucking in his room on the dresser as an apology
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