Food network will be on but we won't be watching
O by "watching" I mean "background noise"
If there is ever a next time, care about me enough to lube it up no matter what my drunk ass says
If it was for sex do you really think i would asking for a mass vote? I'm like fidel castro when it comes to sex. No public approval needed.
I sharted during my first quiz and I couldn't leave, I went ahead and took the rest of the day off.
Thats the last thing I remember and then I woke up in this Dutch kids dorm and he was taking a picture of me while I was sleeping
I may be a little fuzzy on this, but I think at some point I said something about being a generous lover.
halloween is the only time that anne boleyn, the joker, a cowgirl, and a mexican man complete with sombrero and poncho can all hit the same blunt
My liver is begging me not to go, but sadly enough for him my feet and hands control me getting there.
We were having sex and his high flatmates stood outside his room playing the guitar and singing Somebody to Love by Justin Beiber. Weirdest night ever.
Just watched a guy ride a bike off his roof into his pool. On my way to the liquor store, picking you up in 20
OMG. Hung over at my grandparents house. Threw up on 3 T-stops, countless snowbanks, and the grandparents driveway. Was proposed to last night. Bruised from head to toe from falling down 3 flights of stairs. Debating my intelligence because it seems that "happy new years" is too hard for me to spell. How were your new years festivities?
When they send me to rehab, I'm screaming your name down the halls.
I feel like there is something fundamentally wrong with me as a woman. My initial text to you was "What's up, fuck bucket?"
Just imagine a dick squawking like a parrot
location: under the moon. please find me. need ride home.
Randomize
