I don't think you know how difficult it is to pee in poncho..
yeah i like to chase my xanax with prozac and then viagra. you're up...and then you're UP
wouldn't it be funny if when girls shaved their vaginas, they gave them sideburns?
I woke up with a Nike swoosh shaved into my chest hair. my friend got 3 stitches. my phone had a text that simply read "fuck you". I say it was a good party.
I woke up this morning with my hair wrecked, a split lip, and an "H" on my right knee and a "I!" on my other knee.
I got him a footlong to apologize for trying to push him off a balcony...
I need to find a more grown up way of dealin with a hangover at the office than pringles and mountain dew at 8:30 am...
Stayed out til 7 am.... Did u know there's a guy who goes up and down the quad at that hour playing bagpipes?
The sex was so good I went temporarily numb. Slightly embarrassing when she pointed out I was kissing my own arm.
The only thing I know is that these arent my shoes and Aaron is missing and he has my house keys.
I am available for nakedness
We have angered the beer gods. It feels like I'm shitting angry cats.
There's nothing like a guy talking about your vagina as if it's delicious food to make your day better.
He was so drunk last night. He woke up out of a dead sleep at 330am, walked over to the dresser, opened his middle drawer and proceeded to pee. When I woke up and asked him Wtf he was doing, he told me it was fake pee and blamed it on the cat...we don't have a cat
Just got my second shot
Baller. We’re going to be knee deep in strippers and coke in 10 days
Randomize
